40 days sober

40 days…is that all?  40 days ago I decided to stop the broken record of quitting drinking. It’s been interesting so far. I’ve been blissful, depressed, proud of myself, dismayed,  overwhelmed by how well my body has responded, and totally shocked at how rebellious my mind has reacted. Mornings are my favorite part of the day. It’s peaceful and quiet. After 8pm, my anxiety kicks in and my mind races with a hundred reasons why. In the end though it’s just my struggle to push back on years of calming it all with wine. Not to say those reasons for anxiety aren’t valid. They are. I just haven’t found a consistent way to manage it. I do go to yoga a couple nights a week and that helps tremendously. But even after class my mind starts to race again. I need to find a way to get the same breathe and let it go feeling that came with wine. I see meditation in my future.

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