Okay, I fell down the same rat hole. I had a drink on a weekend and changed up my rule to weekends only. Then it changed to one glass of wine a night. Then that one poured glass turned into “That wasn’t a full glass. You shorted yourself. Pour some more.” Which turned into, “You did it again. You shorted yourself. Pour some more.” And you all know how THAT story ended. I’m not going to beat myself up. I’m not going to feel sorry for myself. That’s not my style. If I learned anything from nearly 6 months of sobriety, it’s that beating ones self up is a total waste of precious energy.
My pitfall. What was it? Well, it’s no surprise to me that it was perceived social pressure. Pressure only on my part really. It’s funny how many people said to me, “I really admired what you were doing” when they saw me with a drink in hand. That really hit me. I spent months feeling shunned, left out, turned away and all along I was being admired? Admired. I can dig that.
So, I’m going to attempt to write daily as I hear that helps. Even if I don’t have something fancy or inspiring to say. I practice Bikram yoga which is known for being hot. What it’s not known for is the dialogue which doesn’t change. So many of the quotes they toss out in class are translatable to sobriety. So my goal is to take quotes said in class and share them here and give my take on how they translate. Today’s quote is “End your practice with the same enthusiasm you started with.” This really doesn’t need much further analysis. You don’t need to dig deep to get it. But it resonates. Especially on Day One, right? So easy to feel pumped on a fresh morning without a hangover and the nothing but clear skies ahead. That rush of feeling that nothing can stop me now! Oh, as we know, there are days where the luster is wiped right off and we forget why we even started this journey at all. I mean, was drinking THAT bad? Right? Clearly it was or we wouldn’t have veered off the Boozetown Freeway and decided to take the scenic route of life.
Well, time for me to get to work. Best to you all. Thank you for reading, listening, and being the amazing people you are. I missed sobriety. Truly. Sure there are downsides to sobriety (if we must be honest) but the upsides far outweigh them.