I read an article recently that talks about how alcohol hits the brain. Whether you’ve had one drink or one hundred, it hits the same spot and releases the same thing – endorphins. It stands to reason then that an alcoholic can be someone who has one drink a day but HAS to have it. Or someone that has one hundred drinks a day and HAS to have it. When it comes to clean, pure addiction it’s all the same. Same junkie knocking on the door looking for a hit.Obviously, the toll it takes on your body is worse if you drink more (just ask your liver). Although, I have to say that the shit that was going sideways with my body has rectified itself since I quit. So who knows? Lord knows the alcohol industry doesn’t want us “normal” drinkers thinking it’s a bad thing. They’ll pay anything to make sure no testing is done and certainly nothing will come up in a Google search. Anyywayyyy….
I bring this up because I wouldn’t classify myself as having been a heavy drinker. I honestly went into sobriety thinking “No prob. I only have a few glasses of wine a night so I definitely got this.” And it’s, um….well, let’s just say I was wrong and at times it’s had me totally baffled. Looking back I can see how naïve I was. I went from probably the age of 19-40 having a few drinks a night. No nights off. It was just my way of relaxing (*cough* escaping). In a way, I may have even been classified a “normie”. I don’t have anything I can point to and say it drove me to stop. I just felt like shit. I was depressed, sad, lonely, every part of my body hurt (which I accepted as normal) and wanted more out of life. I figured hell, I’ll give this up and see what happens. While the benefits have been great the addictive part is one I have to acknowledge daily. Crazy, huh? I’ve been fighting labeling myself alcoholic because that seemed reserved for the image of the person the alcohol industry has forced down our throats. But I dunno guys. I think I’m okay with saying to myself that I have an addiction. It’ll probably even help me get through the next phase of whatever phase I’m in. Makes sense. It wouldn’t be the first addiction I’ve battled in my life. But it’ll be another I can say I conquered. And that’s pretty rad no matter how you label it.
~ Namaste Bitches