I’m a facts kind of a gal. I like to dig into the who, what, how, where, when and why about everything from the food I eat to the reason green clashes with my skin tone. For the life of me, I find it nearly impossible to find any articles on sobriety that tote the true health benefits of it and how. *Cough* Big alcohol strikes again.
Ya, sure, okay there are Cosmo and Elle articles that say you shouldn’t drink a bottle of wine a night because your waistline will grow. I’m not talking about those. I mean articles that are easy to read and understand that explain why people are so much happier and prettier sober. Not medical journals from http://www.ifyoupassedchemistryyoumightunderstandthis.com. Just easy to read articles on why. So, my friends, I have taken little pieces here and there that I have found along the way and complied them for you here. Let’s start with the vain stuff since we’re all vain at heart. “You’re so vain. I bet you think this blog is about you, don’t you? Don’t youuuuu?”.
Q: Why are the whites of my eyes so bright? Visine can’t even touch this.
Alcohol dilates the small veins in your eyes causing them to leak. It also inflames the hell out of blood vessels in your eyes so they expand and are easier for everyone to see. I don’t know about you guys, but leaky eye balls should be on the warning label of every alcohol container.
Q: Why is my skin tone so much more even?
Alcohol makes it so that your poor brain loses control over its ability to regulate vascular function. It basically says “I can’t worry about your blood flow right know, I need to get this poison out of your blood”. Next thing you know, you have a rush of blood hit your face and neck and you look like a lovely red tomato. Who doesn’t like that look? *Raises hand* I don’t.
Why was my face so fat when I drank? My head looked ten times bigger than my body.
Your body knows when you’re dehydrated. When you show signs of dehydration your body makes it so you don’t pee. It wants to hold on to all the fluid it can, right? Well, alcohol not only makes it so that your body can’t tell if you’re dehydrated but it also makes you pee…a lot. As a result, the tissues in your face swell as they beg for mercy. Voila! Fat face.
Alright folks, that’s it for this evening. Rest well knowing your eyes are no longer leaking, your blood is flowing at it’s maximum potential, and the tissues in your face are soft and peaceful.
~ Namaste bitches!